The 7 Adjustments in bringing more loving connection in Relationships … requires a lot of common sense about what are the dynamics of the moment … feeling the Other’s flow of attention; and expressing & acknowledging the Other’s feeling-state , as topics of interest are brought into the arena … Since “Red-words ” are approximately 5- to-30 times more often remembered than the pleasurable- & – connection affirming words [ the “Green-words” ] … Therefore, in dynamic & fast-paced relationship-moments, a definite effort needs to be made to introject more “Green-words” into the sharing-time; Since feelings, needs, values & deep longings from the past can be surfacing quickly, leading to the perception of “Red-word” triggers, there is a call for Patience , more slow-breathing, more acting-out of empathic responses, & a willingness to see where “Self-judgment” may also be driving statements [ which may be projected onto the Other ]. Also ,[ In one of my relationships] , too much use of “humor” [ in a fast-paced banter & exchange of topics] must be monitored after awhile, due to the subconscious “triggers” which may bring up subliminal aspects from the past . Be aware that some “joke”, is only truly “funny” , when “both people are laughing ” be aware of run-away-humor . It can become ” toxic ” when too much is brought up.